+ 10 Things that Make Me Happy +

I'm wanting to get back into writing more. As a result, I've found a 30 day writing challenge to do!

List 10 things that make you really happy.

Dogs make me incredibly happy. All dogs. Any dogs that will let me near them. Unfortunately mine had to be put to sleep May 13th so I'm currently without a doggie companion. Though, I discovered today the ex-boy's dog's fur is all up in my sweater which just made me miss them both terribly. He had the sweetest and most ridiculous puggle.

Books. They're like the best thing ever to be imagined into existence! They can take you away to other times and places. It allows you to do things that you otherwise never could: such as fight dragons, sail on the seven seas searching for Moby Dick, falling through the rabbit hole, or destroying the one ring.

Friends. These are the people I choose to be my family. The humans I choose to keep around and share my time and attention with. Usually they offer up great conversations, unyielding support and affection, and some pretty fantastic adventures. They're my favorites. Mostly they make me happy because they remind me how great life has been. They share in my best and worst memories, my greatest victories and devastating defeats. They're my kindred spirits that give me purpose.

Family. The people blood ties force me to interact with and spend time around. Most of the time I'm fond of them as they give me a roof to live under. They're good for a laugh at times, too. As well as just being pretty good people, I just get frustrated living with them. Mostly because I thought I'd have my own place by now, but I don't. However, it's unlikely I'd be me without them so it is what it is.

Rivers. There's something indescribably beautiful and tranquil about being on a river with a fly rod in hand. The gentle murmur of the flowing stream, the emerald of the trees, the chirping of the birds, and the rising of the fish. I feel alive and calm there.

The Gym. I never thought I'd say that in my life, but I actually really enjoy being there. Watching as my muscles work and move in ways they've never had to before, the strength of my muscles increasing each day I dedicate myself to get healthier. Every time I add more weight to my routines and end up refreshingly exhausted before leaving. The gentle ache reminding me I achieved something new and awesome!

Mountains. Really the outdoors. I like hiking and being around trees. I like the rustling of the wind, the scent of mud and rain, and the sounds of the forests. I think if I could be a hermit in a log cabin lost in some woods I'd be okay with that. It feels nice and calm. It's home.

My Students. They're sweet, witty, and sarcastic. What's not to like about that? Sure, they're a little needy and sometimes they won't stop talking, but they're good kids. I love watching them grow and mature with age. I like seeing how they get more independent and their skills grow. I genuinely like who they are as people and I end up being so very fond of them. I'm always so proud when they grow or graduate.

My tattoos. It might sound weird that they make me happy, but they do. They're a road map on my body that reveals some of my most profound pain disguised as art and seemingly innocent. Majora's Mask seems like an innocent game reference, but it holds so much more meaning to me. It was a way to cope with a few losses. As is my foot tattoo. It's a dedication to my dogs but also my lost loved ones and all the struggles I've faced. Each day I see my tattoos I am happy, proud, and am reminded that nothing can't be won.

Learning. I think learning has to be the final thing that makes me happy. I am always striving to better myself and improve. I want to instill life long learning in my students and as such I am all for it in my own life. No one knows everything. It's just implausible, but you can always learn more. It's a way to change and grow forever.

+ Reviews +

I feel like reviews are the biggest waste in existence. Though maybe I just come across the worst ones, but I've just seem so many negative reviews for EVERYTHING lately.

I am slowly building my kindle library up with some of my favorites and as a result have seen some reviews for books I grew up on and have LOVED. I either have the worst taste in literature on the planet, or there are some ridiculously hateful people out there. My favorite was the comparison of the looking glass wars to a literary holocaust...really? You're comparing what you think is bad writing to the deaths of MILLIONS of people (mostly jewish people, but others as well). That seems like a great idea and not at all offensive to all the people who died in the holocaust or the war...

I find it hard to believe as an English teacher I have the worst judgement in books. Though maybe that's my ego talking. A majority of my favorite books became my favorites when I was in middle and highschool so maybe it's part nostalgia and part storytelling that wins me over. Still it surprises me seeing some of the comments written about books I love.  Worst book ever written? Really? You gave five stars to twilight and 50 shades of gray!! How does that seem legit? 

I think I should definitely stay away from reviews. It makes me sad...

And if I have such terrible taste in books how can I love classics the way I do? And why do all books need to be compared to great literature? A book can be "badly written" and still be a good story!

Honestly who says you have to have impeccable writing skills to have a good book written? God knows the majority of people can't judge good writing to save their lives. Education system, anyone?

Every young adult novel would be considered trash if novels had to be perfect. And no one from this century would be able to publish a book. 

+ What Can I Say? +

I want to take the time to say that at this point I'm pretty sure I'm more impressed with the Percy Jackson series than I ever was with the Harry Potter series.  I'm not saying that Harry Potter isn't good or that one is better than the other. Based on popularity Harry would win, but I think I have stronger feelings for the Percy series. Personally I still haven't finished the Harry Potter series yet, while percy has kept me hooked. Not killing my favorite characters and tying in my love of mythology.

I can't help but completely adore the series and always stay hooked. I have all the feels right now as I closed the book on the series. Yet I know that the Heroes of Olympia has cameos of the characters so it's not really goodbye I still just want their lives to stay still and happy. Especially knowing that Percy loses his memory in the olympia series.

I'm kind of stuck in a strange limbo currently. I don't know what book to pick up now. I don't know if my heart can handle the Heroes of Olympia series just yet...even if I already have the first three and the fourth is out...I am suffering from too many feels and that's never a good thing.

+ 30 Day Book Challenge: Day 24 +

A Book You Wish More People Would've Read

This has got to be A Riven Runs Through It by Norman Maclean. I mean it probably only holds the special place in my heart because I am a fisher-person. I grew up, much like Norman, with a rod in my hand and the four count rhythm going through my head.

I know the truth in the words that nothing is more beautiful than your river. No sight can compare to seeing the people you love do a perfect cast, or the true serenity that exists when you are in your zone on a river. The riffle that holds the perfect bull. The ripple that breaks the surface signalling the rising of a fish. The perfect cast. The moment when you truly feel like you can catch anything.

The first cast of the season. The first fly tied on your tippet for the season. The scent of the river and finding the perfect spot void of all human interaction. The green covering the world. The book captures all of this perfectly while also portraying his family and young adult life to perfection. The teacher in him. The lover of literature in him. Everything about it makes the book amazing. It's no wonder it owns my entire being.

+ 30 Day Book Challenge: Day 22 +

Favorite Book You Own

Goodness this kind of question is the worst ever! I'm a book junkie - I love all my books! They're like the friends from your childhood you get to revisit whenever you want. They are the one constant in my life I revisit and will always relive the person I was during them.

For this challenge I am picking The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen. I'm not sure if I picked a book by Sarah Dessen for this challenge yet or not, but she is seriously the most amazing young adult literature novelist ever. I know many like John Green, Maureen Johnson, etc. Sarah Dessen is what I read during my young adult life though, so she'll always hold the most special place in my heart. Ever since I picked up that first book of hers (Dreamland in case you're wondering what my first Dessen book was) I was in love. The writing was lovely, the characters true and genuine, the situations perfectly plausible, and you always rooted for them. Plus, I love the cameos of characters from other books!

You can find Wes and Macy in Just Listen during the waffle house scene (Not to mention Dexter and Remy in the band!! - Hate Spinnerbait). In case you're wondering Macy is the main character in The Truth About Forever. It's about a girl who's father has died and the family is trying to figure out how to continue on. Macy quit track because he was her coach and she doesn't know how to disengage the two things. Her perfect boyfriend isn't quite so perfect. She's in a sucky library job with classmates that don't like her and finds a job she loves in Wish! catering. There she meets her new friends and learns how to be herself again.

Seriously it's an amazing story. It'll always be one of my favorite Dessen books.

+ Gag Me +

You know it's time for a break for a few days from a dating website when you find yourself being compared to the goddess Aphrodite by a male prospect. Seriously? Do men really think we will buy/fall for that? It's so obviously a line and a terribly cheesy one at that. All I could think while reading that was -- gag me with a spoon.

He started out by saying he couldn't decide if he should send me a message because I was striking with the visage of the goddess Aphrodite. However he would always regret not giving it a try.

What ended up making it worse? Another guy in my inbox totally tried that line, too. Keep in mind, as an English Major, I fixed it up and made it sound more poetic. They weren't that good. The embodiment of Aphrodite was all their phrase, however. I just have to wonder if women really respond to that nonsense?

Maybe it's just that I would be so much better at the romantic language than these guys. I could woo a woman like nobody's business! If I were a more evil sort of person I'd prove it with a fake dating handle. However, I'm really not that interested in proving that. Seriously, men, take some literature courses (British Literature - check out the great Lord Byron who is possibly the king at wooing women).

I should teach a course on Wooing Classy Women 101. It would be a romantic poetry course exploring all the greats that would make a woman melt at the hand of any man.

Lesson 1: Never compare a woman to Aphrodite. It's outdated, obvious, and shows zero creativity.

Lesson 2: Never steal the words of a truly great poet - or if you must, give fair credit. Don't lie and say you wrote it. No woman will believe you.

Lesson 3: Don't overtly lie - or keep it too broad. Pick an aspect of the woman you find truly beautiful and use that one aspect to compliment them. E.G. Eyes. "She walks in beauty, like the night/ Of cloudless climes and starry skies;/ And all that's best of dark and bright/ Meet in her aspect and her eyes:/ Thus mellow'd to that tender light" (Lord Byron).

See? Already I'd win at wooing a lady.

+ 30 Day Book Challenge: Day 21 +

Favorite Book from your Childhood

Grimms Fairy Tales would probably have to be my favorite. I loved all the stories in the collection and that the endings weren't always perfect, like life. I was most fond of these stories probably because they were read to me a lot - mostly at my own request.

My favorites were: The Frog Prince, The Elves, The Glass Coffin, Rapunzel, Rumplestiltskin, Snow-White and Rose-Red, The Worn-Out Dancing Shoes, The Spirit in the Glass Bottle, and The Riddle. Mostly I just really liked being read to as a kid, until I could read on my own. Which actually started pretty early. I was reading before I entered Kindergarten. The Mom insisted on using Hooked on Phonics and made both Ajax and myself practice. Which probably made me read as early as I did, but I still got frustrated with that because I was advanced.

I was always an advanced reader. It made school a little frustrating at times. I'm a dummy at Math, though so it probably evened itself out.

+ 30 Day Book Challenge: Day 19 +

Favorite Book Turned Into a Movie

Queen of the Damned. I know most people that read the novel absolutely hated the movie. In fact, a number of people in general just hated the movie for the fact it was so MTV-ized. However, I hadn't read the book when I first saw the movie. I was still a kid and MTV was still the cool thing to watch. Plus, I liked that Lestat's voice was Jon Davis's when he sang. Even as a kid I was fond of Korn so that only added to my fondness for the movie.

I know the movie is SO different from the novel, but even after I read Queen of the Damned I still loved the movie. I think it's the difference of the novel to the movie that had me actually liking both of them. I don't really see them as the same thing. The entire story line was so different that they are completely different stories.

Queen of the Damned had Jesse turned into a vampire because Armand threw her against a wall and she was dying. Akasha was finally defeated by Mekare eating her as was tradition from the tradition of her people thousands of years ago. Whereas the movie Jesse was turned after Akasha made Lestat kill her as a sign of his devotion to her, and it was Lestat that started to kill Akasha. There was a lot more to it than all that, but the changes were pretty major.

+ 30 Day Book Challenge: Day 18 +

A Book That Disappointed You

Bite Me by Christopher Moore. I adore the writing of Christopher Moore, and I loved the characters from Bloodsucking Fiends and  You Suck. So, when I heard there was going to be another one I pretty much immediately pre-ordered it and started waiting impatiently.

It finally arrived and I read it in pretty much a day. I think what disappointed me the most about the novel is that Jody and C. Thomas Flood didn't end up together. It just wasn't an ending that made me feel like it was totally complete. You know? It was still a good book, but it wasn't what I expected.

In my mind they're still together.

+ 30 Day Book Challenge: Day 17 +

Favorite Quote from a Book You Enjoy.

"I think your view of them--an imperfect God and a learning Devil--is just about as good as anyone else's interpretation. I think you've hit on it." - Lestat, Tale of a Body Thief. - Anne Rice.

The philosophy behind the quotation was pretty interesting. It was Lestat and David Talbot talking about the ideas of God, Devil, and religion. A kind of imperfect game or bet between God and the Devil. As if they were friendly-ish and just were trying to gain more people to their persuasion. At least that's the idea I remember. It's been a long time since I read the novel.

+ 30 Day Book Challenge: Day 16 +

Day 16 - Favorite Female Character

I have a lot of favorite female characters. Though, I guess for this post I'll choose Katniss Everdeen if for no other reason than she is the most recent powerful female character I've read (I decided to re-read the series a couple weeks back).

I'm in the process of reading A River Runs Through It, Dracula, and Peter Pan. None of those really have powerful female characters, at least not so far in the novels. It may change by the time it's over. I imagine Wendy Darling is probably a pretty good female character.

Anyway, back to Katniss. Katniss is a strong female character in that she has the inner strength to do what she believes is right. Including becoming the face of an entire rebellion. She protects those she cares for and makes her choices based on what's best for her loved ones. Not to mention the whole keeping her family running after her father dies in a mining accident. She uses her wit, intellect, and skills to find a way to ensure she and Peeta get to live through the first Hunger Games they're in. She gives courage to others and does what she can to help all who cross her path. She's definitely a good role model for younger ladies.

+ 30 Day Book Challenge: Day 15 +

Day 15 Favorite Male Character

I'm quite fond of Lestat from Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles. He is cocky, intelligent, witty, and offers up great tales to entertain. One of his novels was a great inspiration to me and a work I've been working on for some time. I'm not sure I can adequately describe my admiration of Lestat. He just always seems to have answers, yet he is possibly the most irresponsible and immature character at times.

Yes, he's a vampire, but that's hardly the reason I think he is a good character. In fact, he might be the only vampire I actually like. Well, Blade is up there... But he's not really a vampire, he's an awkward hybrid creature and he's a Marvel character... I digress. I think a reason I am so fond of Lestat is because of how flawed he is. I love me some flawed and damaged characters. That's what makes their stories worth reading. It makes them human. And we love when our characters are human.

+ 30 Day Book Challenge: Day 14 +

Day 14 Favorite Book of Your Favorite Author

This probably has to be Cat's Cradle. I ended up liking this novel a lot more than I thought I would. It's the story of a writer that's working on figuring out where important people were when the atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima. However, he ends up focusing on the co-inventor of the a-bomb. He travels around to interview the inventor's children and learns about both the memories they hold of their father and a new perspective of the inventor.

He also learns about Ice-Nine. An interesting substance that when mixed with water changes the atomic makeup of water and turns it into a permanently solid form of ice. Basically is takes water and turns it into ice-nine. The misuse of this substance could render the whole world inhabitable due to lack of water. The fact it exists is quite dangerous.

He ends up on San Lorenzo the poorest country in the whole ruled by dictator Papa Monzano. There he learns of the people, dictator, and a religion that is known only to those who live on San Lorenzo.

I don't want to give too much away. It's one I definitely suggest.

+ 30 Day Book Challenge: Day 13 +

Day 13 Your Favorite Writer 

I have a number of favorite writers. However, for this, I shall chose Kurt Vonnegut. I love satire. I love all things Kurt Vonnegut. He was in the war and still managed to become a writer after the fact, interestingly enough Hemmingway, Vonnegut, and Salinger were all in the wars and became writers with only Salinger deciding to not write about wars ever. Random, but yes.

There's just so much to love with Kurt Vonnegut. Kilgore Trout - who doesn't love him? Cat's Cradle is completely amazing. I encourage you to read that if you ever get the chance. "Harrison Bergeron" the short story he wrote is probably my favorite short story ever. Who doesn't love a dystopia? I have had a number of chances to teach Harrison Bergeron and every time I fall even more in love with it.

Slaughter House-Five is probably one of his most heard of by non-fans, but even that one is excellent. I just encourage you to read his work. You won't be disappointed.

+30 Day Book Challenge: Day 12 +

Day 12 A Book that was Read to You Over and Over as a Child 

This one was kind of answered already in a previous post.

However, Patchy Pumpkin Finds Himself a Home was read to me very often as a child. The tale of a large, bumpy, and somewhat unpleasing to the eye pumpkin that doesn't get chosen to be a jack-o-lantern for Halloween, nor a pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving. He gives up hope and cries because no one loves him or wants him. That's when a lovely surprise occurs and he finds himself a happy ending (don't want to spoil the whole story for you - I know it's killing you not knowing!).

There were a couple other books that got quite a lot of wear and tear over the years as well, but Patchy was read to both Ajax and myself for basically all of our childhoods.

+ 30 Day Book Challenge: Day 11 +

Day 11 A Novel You Hated

Ugh. To this day I still really don't like Beowulf. I try, try, try to like it. I just can't! I like certain elements of it. I like the archetypal quest of the hero. I really like Grendel still... or perhaps I just really like the character of Grendel that I've built up in my head. For class we had to draw our depiction of Grendel...which maybe it why I'm so fond of that character and don't like the novel.

I like the language Seamus Heaney put in it while he was translating it. And the idea of the story isn't bad. Beowulf just isn't the best person and he kind of always irritated me. To be honest there's very little I remember about Beowulf I disliked it so much. As soon as the exams were over I promptly forgot everything about it and never looked back.

+ 30 Day Book Challenge: Day 10 +

Whoops! Totally forgotten I hadn't finished the 30 Day Book Challenge. I'll try to be better at getting things done that kind of have schedules. I'll try...but it might not happen. Just to warn you.

Day 10 - Favorite Classic novel

As cliche as this might sound, Moby Dick. I was as skeptical as you probably are while I was discovering my love of the novel. And I might just be biased because of my rather large paper I wrote involving this novel. My first go at Moby Dick happened in 5th grade. It was painful, long, and what the heck is it with whales? Blubber? That totally doesn't sound legit.

My second go at Moby Dick happened in excerpts during my American Literature part 1 class. It was painful because it was in snip-its and things didn't totally make sense. Who is that Indian and why is he BFFs with our protagonist? What is going on? Ahab is crazy, Ishmael is random, and Queequeg is probably the most entertaining of the whole novel.

Third time was definitely the charm for me. It was during my American Literature the 1800s to present or something. I'm not looking at my classes right now! I'm not 100% on the dang titles! This time we were supposed to read the whole novel. From beginning to end. This time I felt a kinship with Ishmael, Queequeg was a total gentleman and scholar, and Captain Ahab was still very eccentric, but perhaps not crazy in my mind anymore. I even felt an understanding with Ahab. Crazy man that he is.

My paper was spent comparing the tale of Saint George the Dragon Slayer and the relationship with England and the tale of Captain Ahab, The White Whale, and the relationship with the US.

+ Not Everyone is Meant to Understand +

I was home sometime recently - it must have been during Summer. I'm not certain of the time frame, but something curious was told to me. Ajax was chatting with the Mom and mentioned at some point how he was concerned for me, his little sister; I am too serious. "She just never seems to be having fun. She just goes to classes, works, and even when she's here she's working for the Dad, walking the dog, and doing more work for classes". Granted, this quotation has some artistic liberties with it because I didn't hear Ajax say it, it was hearsay from the Mom. But that is the sentiment I was told that it resembled. Ajax being concerned over how I don't ever let loose.

This was particularly interesting because Ajax usually doesn't seem to think I do anything but waste time and be lazy - so he tells me. Maybe that's just a job of the older brother to always make you try to be more impressive than yourself. Always striving to outdo your own work. Maybe it's an older brother's job to ensure the young ones do things they never dreamed of themselves. Maybe it's just older brothers can't show kindness to younger siblings until they reach a certain age. Whatever the case, I thought it was cute. Maybe cute isn't the right word. I thought that that was endearing of him to mention. Mostly because I thought it was just me who thought I was stretching myself too thin. And continue to stretch, I always do.

What should be noted is, education is very important to me. I dream of a world where everyone has access to education. A world where everyone can read. Everyone can write. A world that embraces thinking, and writing, and reading. A world where you can venture with Ishmael to chase that white whale, where you can fall into a rabbit hole with Alice, where you can envision the broken world with Equality 7-2521 as he brings back the fire of knowledge to the world. A world where everyone enjoys a life of learning until the very last moment of living. Where people want to know more. I just want to live in a world where everyone cares about bettering themselves in any way that they can. Where everyone questions authority. A world where everyone can follow their dreams. And my only chance at seeing this kind of world is by being an educator.

That is why I am here. That is why I embrace 26 credits in this single, last semester. That is why instead of partying it up at fraternities I am instead at home, reading Moby Dick, creating lesson plans, writing out answers to take home exams, and reading my textbook on teaching Secondary English. Would I rather have had a chance to live a real college experience? Probably. But I don't think I would be walking away from this experience with the same knowledge I am now because I ignored those desires.

Sometimes it would be nice to be a different person. The kind of person that has fun with crowds of people she doesn't know. The kind of person that doesn't care if she is drunk in public. The kind of person that likes dancing and going out for a girl's night with random guys rubbing all against her. The kind of person who could have frivolous fun without having an internal schedule staring her in the face reminding her of everything she wasn't doing that she needed to be doing. It would have been nice to be the kind of person that enjoys the same things my friends do. The kind of person that can let go and let her hair down. The kind of person that isn't eternally serious. The kind of person that isn't always misunderstood as angry or bitter.

For me, I am content going on walks and enjoying nature. I enjoy movie or tv show marathons. I am content just being with the people I care about. I am content spending countless hours walking with my dog at night. I am content curling up with a classic novel and adventuring with the writer who has endless knowledge to share. I am content fishing with the Dad. I am content going camping, hiking, and staring into waters. I am content writing about everything I can. I would love to shoot pool and just hang out with Ajax, though he'd never want to. I am content without going to parties and watching people get drunk because it takes me too long to get drunk myself. I don't think it's fun being silly or acting a fool; I am content being me. No one else has to understand it.

I might sound boring. I might sound judgmental. I might sound like I have no life. It just means I value different things than you do. I don't know. I enjoy learning. I enjoy pondering. I enjoy meeting new people, but I don't like being overwhelmed by people I don't know. It makes me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. It makes me concerned and nervous. It takes a while to really know me because I let so few in. And even the ones I let in don't always really know me.