+ Murphy's Law +

I'm so sick of everything that can go wrong actually going wrong. I can't remember a time in my life where I was genuinely happy anymore.

It's just one thing after another these days. I'm losing hope that things will get better. If this is life  I'm not sure I want it.

Don't misunderstand me. I'm not suicidal. I'd never kill myself. I'm just so unhappy.

I miss my home. I miss my family. I'm always stressed about making ends meet. I have a job that is unchallenging. I wake up every morning just wanting the day to be over and I come home to another problem. I pay $800 a month for an apartment that has things breaking all the time, I've lost hundreds in groceries with the amount of times the fridge has gone out, they've charged us for fixing things a second time even though they never fixed it right the first time, etc.

It's a lot of little things that have been building for a really long time. 

And every time I get upset by it, my guy doesn't seem to understand. He just shrugs and says it's life and he's used to living like this. I'm not. I get mad when things break or when I get charged extra because they didn't do their job right. He never wants to fight. He never wants to make it better. He can't be on my side. And it hurts.

I can be crying and he just stands there. Why won't he hold me? Why won't he tell me it'll be okay? Why can't he help me make things better? I'm always alone.