Today I went out with a new guy. I'm not going to lie I definitely thought about cancelling, just because I had a really awful and stressful day at work. I think it's just having gone back... but man, the job is getting to me. It's hard for it not to at times.
Anyway with a little helpful nudging by one of my favorite lady coworkers I decided what the heck and agreed to give it a shot. If for no other reason than she wants a full report on my dating life. Haha. So we were supposed to meet at a coffee shop downtown... luckily both of us were running late, not just me. Traffic was horrible and I ended up having to close the shop late. What I forgot about was Wednesday Market being in place and the fact streets are still ripped up so parking was a nightmare. Then the coffee shop ended up not being open... on an early Wednesday evening. So strange.
We went to plan b and went to the hookah bar in town. He was lucky and had parking right next to the coffee shop so he beat me to the hookah bar, too. He'd ordered... berry mint hookah? I guess. I didn't notice much of a mint, but I don't smoke hookah often. Don't get me wrong, I'm no stranger to it. Yet...at the same time I have no idea how to set one up, the best flavors, or what different brands are. I've always been spoiled and my friends have had them and I just got to smoke it...
So we ended up sitting and talking and smoking. Which wasn't bad but there was some fair amount of silence. I should mention I'm horrible at knowing what to ask or say on dates. I am overly comfortable with silence so I don't notice when it feels awkward. As a teacher, I'm kind of used to silence. You ask a question and you stay there... quiet, waiting. You will win and a student will tell you an answer if you have to wait all period to get one. Yeah.
I thought that it was a fairly nice encounter, though. It was relaxed, we talked, we smoked, he was nice, etc. He kind of had the same coloring, scruffle-face, build, lip-ring, etc. as Mac... so that kind of threw me off. I was thrown back in time four years when I first saw him, but after that I was over it. We both were on the same page of not wanting to move too fast. Which was good.
He is also from the same town as Fish two, four, eight, and nine... but this is the only fish that drove here to meet me. He actually put in effort. He also came up with an idea that was unique. I hadn't been to the hookah bar before so points for that. And when he left he hugged me and said we'd hang out again soon and that he'd message/text me. I wouldn't mind hanging out with this one again. I wouldn't feel dread at the idea of meeting up with him again either... which probably means I'll never hear from him again. That's usually how it works.
Here's the thing though, the ones I feel like I wouldn't mind hanging out with again are because I felt like there was zero pressure, I was comfortable around them, and I want them as friends because they seem interesting. I don't know that I have a desire to date them necessarily, but I'd like being friends because I want more people to hang out with. I felt like this about Fish Six since we had a lot of similar interests. I just find that the guys that aren't crazy or really intense end up having no desire to ever see me again. And I'm always left wondering why. I interpreted this evening as having gone well... as I had with Fish Six.
I would prefer these men just be straight-forward. I don't like being told we'll hang out again and that they'll text me and never have it happen. I can handle rejection... I don't like unclear rejections because I'm left wondering. I hate being left hanging.
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