+ Clueless +

I no longer have any idea what I want. I think maybe I'm just burned out on men for the moment because I'm getting restless with meeting new men, enduring through the awkward encounters, and having no idea how any of it is going. I seem to never be on the same page and I have no idea how I can be so daft.

The encounters I think went well apparently are never as pleasant as I perceive them to be. Those guys are usually the ones I feel comfortable around and therefore wouldn't mind getting to know.

The encounters I think are awkward, weird, and slightly uncomfortable tend to be the guys interested in going out with me multiple times yet the conversations always go flat pretty quickly. I also feel like there's little common ground and we're in different places in our lives. I don't know. It's just strange. I feel...nothing about some of these men who seem to like me. Yet I don't know if it's just because I don't know them well yet. I don't know how much time is fair to give before deciding if it's worth trying something with. They seem to be in such a hurry to claim me...

I'm assuming though that when a song comes on in my car that reminds me of a different man and I almost begin to cry because I miss that man and then begin comparing him to the one in the car with me...chances are the one with me isn't quite a priority in my head or heart. Songs are funny that way they tend to bring back memories in a flood of emotion. Maybe I shouldn't have jumped into a man search when I did. Maybe this is all a fool's errand.

I don't know anything.