Lovlies, it's been a while!
I know, I'm awful at keeping in touch.
It's just that this time of my life has been particularly hectic. I don't know how much more my brain can comprehence before cracking the bonds of sanity. I'm often teetering on the edge of sane and insane anyway! Who wants to be sane!? I'd rather be insane in the membrane.
Who am I kidding? Peter Pan stole my marbles long ago.
I should probably let you keep better tabs on me. I'll tell you what I've been up to. In general.
Do you remember when I spoke of bridges and how I find that I often cross bridges and look back and wonder? That it seems like I burn many bridges whether I mean to or not? Well, the bridge I mentioned that might be getting burned soon was that of Malon, because what I hadn't mentioned previously because I didn't want to chance someone stumbling upon it prematurely, was she isn't going to be living with us after June 25th.
The thing is she's made choices that we don't agree with. That could potentially affect us negatively, thus we had to look out for ourselves. Which is kind of callous, I realize, but this is what I've worked my entire life for. Sometimes you have to be selfish. I don't hate Malon, nor will I ever. I don't want the bridge to be burned. And so we told her recently, which is why I can share it here, now.
Things between Malon, Julia, and myself seem to be good. We're all on good terms. And things are going well for which I am very grateful. That was a hard time to get through though, and it took a little while for things to be okay. But ironically it was good it happened... Because before that Malon hadn't talked to me since Christmas break. There was no communication, there were rumors floating about how she was essentially trying to push me out of my group in my hometown, so it actually got a lot of things out in the open and fixed. Which the situtational irony is astounding of real life. And I know it's rare that people see situational irony, it's always hindsight 20/20.
Then there was the excitement with the water heater that happened before the news to Malon. The problem is the water heater is in my room which is typically locked when I'm away. I've had bad luck with people snooping and I'm slightly paranoid. It might be considered a problem. So Malon happened to be home for the first time in a month and she called the apartment company to fix it. Which didn't work. That day was stupid and stressful.
It was mostly stressful because Malon hadn't been talking to me for like four months and she shows up and screws me over by calling the apartment agency when I'm at work when I'd told Julia that I'd deal with it once I got off work. I was a little more high-strung than necessary, but when you're at work and people are flipping at you and you can't do anything about it. Things are stupid.
That night I think I bailed and just spent the better part of the afternoon/night with Hamlet because I was stressed and he typically makes me forget what the problem was. Which was nice. I needed some stress-free chill time. Which really just consisted of ranting, listenin' to music, and chatting with the guys. Hamlet and his roomies are perfect at not hittin' you when the chips are down, they're just that cool. It also helps he lives like right by me.
Then there are days like today. That just suck the life out of you.
I woke up and knew things might not be super-happy-fun-times. I couldn't stop being sleepy despite having gotten plenty of sleep, it was just a 'meh' day. It was popcorn-snowing when I left the homefront. I didn't finish reading the novel that needed to get done, which ended up not mattering. I don't read poetry right, well, it was more just amusing, except that I then lost my voice for a couple of seconds and messed up worse. But by the mercy of the Fates it continued to the next person.
Then work happened and I couldn't concentrate or think correctly. People were talking to me and I could see their mouths moving, but I didn't hear anything. I was mostly just slow in the head, my processing time was totally off for my usual days. Plus, I was mega nervous for my exam in grammar today. Which ended up not seeming too terrible except for the "create your own grammar question and answer it". I got nervous, my brain went blank, and I almost started hyperventilating. That's what happened. Except I don't know if it was actually because of the exam question, or because of the news I got before the exam. The Dad needs surgery and I can't stop thinking about it. Hospitals make me nervous. I don't like being in them and when people I care about are in them it's hard to focus on things. It just puts me in stress-mode. I don't know, it's just been a day where concentration is seriously lacking with a double-side of stress. Good times.
Oh, and did I mention? I have a new job, too. I'm a Mary Kay Beauty Consultant! WHAT!? I know. I didn't think I'd ever choose that path either. But I did. The best part!? I'm excited, Yaaaaay! [/cheeseball].
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