+ I Just Need Some Independence +

Maybe one day I'll be lucky enough to actually get even a little bit of what I want out of life.

Seriously it's not much.

I want a job that will allow me to live somewhat comfortably. And by that I mean a place to live where I can do laundry, shower, cook food, is warm, and that will stay reasonably clean after I clean it.

That job would preferably be with the degree I obtained so I don't feel like it's the biggest, most expensive, waste of paper ever conned out of me.

Seriously.

I would think that's not asking for much.

Instead I work a thanklessjob that gives me no hope for humanity and that's slowly killing all my desire to teach. My passion is burning lower. I fear by the time I finally weasel a job out of someone I will hate teaching so much I'll be a horrid teacher.

Don't get me wrong. My students are the absolute best! They're brilliant, sweet, ridiculously sarcastic, and witty! They make my days better! I do what I can to teach them and they're the reason I stick around here (and health insurance, am I right!?). However, the politics involved and the working with the adults can be trying. Most of the coworkers are fabulous, but sometimes we're invisible or not given the help we need to help our kiddos succeed.

And I'm stuck living with my family. I am lucky if I get to do laundry once a month or shower every other day. I have no electricity in my too small room. With furniture that collapses, breaking the few possessions I actually want.

When all I want out of life is to be able to afford a bit of independence. 

I want to stand on my own two feet. I want to claim this life as my own. Yet I feel like I haven't progressed at all in my life. I'm stuck. I'm unhappy.  I'm lost.

Don't get me wrong, I know I'm lucky I have a job at all. I know I'm lucky my parents let me live with them in a house with a roof and a room of my own.

It would just be nice to be able to stand on own two feet in life for once. I go from feeling like an adult in college with an apartment and no one to answer to all the way back to living with my parents. Where I feel like a kid again.