In the last year I've been getting a lot of encouragement and advice to go ahead and get a masters degree. I can understand that to some that sounds like the best course of action. However, that just leads to even more questions.
Which major do I take then? Do I choose to go the all English Literature/Writing route? I mean I would love that so much. It could allow me to be a professor instead of just a teacher. That's not going to do much to advance my career options in high schools, though. Do I continue with General Education? Also fun, but won't advance career options - other than making it so I have to be paid more before I have adequate teaching experience making me un-hireable. Score.
I've been told I should go back and get a masters in special education. I understand that it would, in theory, make me an asset in most eyes. I also know that I probably don't want to do that. The reason I like my job now is that it is student-oriented. I get to be out of the politics entirely. I don't have to have massive amounts of contact with parents, administrators, or people in general. I get to work with students. I don't have to have a mountain of paperwork every day. I don't even have to give out my phone number. Heck, it isn't even a big deal that I fly under the radar. I become the teacher and all that goes away... for a tiny bit more money and the ability to never again have free time.
I could go and get an endorsement in a couple more subjects that sound interesting to me. Everyone knows I love me some ancient civilizations and translated literature. I love me some history. I'm a mere two classes away from a journalism endorsement. How cool would that be? That could potentially advance my career or at the very least make it a little more likely I'll get a job.
However, I'm not even sure that I want to teach forever. I don't know what it is that I want out of my life these days. I want to make enough money for me to not have to live with my family. I want to make enough so that I can travel (even if that means backpacking and hostiles - in fact, I'd prefer that). I want to make enough money that I can get up and leave for an occasional weekend. I want to make enough so that I will be completely out of debt and can keep paying for my car and the gas I need to put into it.
I don't know what that job will be long term. I don't know if I'll get an opportunity to teach and decide that's where I want to be always...or if I'll find something else to do instead.
I will admit this part, here and now though, I'm afraid that my job now is going to burn me out on teaching. I'm afraid I'll hate it before I get a real chance at it; like subbing almost did last year on so many different occasions.
I'm scared I'll get so sick of things that I'll need out. There are some days that by the end all I can think about is how worthless this whole thing is. How I do my job for nothing and how it doesn't seem worth it. I'm not really helping and the daily struggles and battles can't be worth the strain of my unhappiness. Others I feel like it's rewarding and amazing...though they're dwindling. Mostly I think how it sucks I have a degree and I get paid next to nothing... not enough to survive on my own that's for sure.
No comments:
Post a Comment