It feels like my life is right back where it was last year. I'm at the job I was last year at this time, though now I'm permanent and not a sub. I'm working with the same women (and two men) and the students that won me over then are still here. I am missing one wonderful woman, but I saw her yesterday.
And with the phone call I just received it really feels familiar. A gang of men that are dear to my heart for reasons I can't begin to comprehend are harassing me to visit this weekend. The world is funny. To say the least. I thought this was a scenario in my life that wouldn't turn up again, yet here I am again.
People tell me you can't go back. The only thing to do is move forward. This particular weekend activity I'm not ready to let go of yet. These people understand me. They make me feel at home and like people truly care for me.
It is here that I got my first job, lived on my own, and got to see what it is to be a college student. I cherish that time of my life now more than I ever actually did while I was there. The men (an a woman or two) that I met while being there made my memories so much more than I could imagine at that time.
All the harassment and joking around. The insults. The humor. The genuine dislike as it faded into a friendship no one saw coming. The truth coming out now. The hunches of my "secret" crushes which could be the only truth reason I was so rude. No, I never crushed on any of these egotistical men, despite what our ladies told them.
The men that tell me I always can run away to their home - theirs is always my sanctuary whether I call first or not. The hugs that give me strength when I forget that I hadn't had any in such a long time. The smile and teasing. I'll accept the title of dirty whore from only these people... despite it being a lie. The drunken truths uttered in despair and pmsing. The pinky promises in the dark drinking beer or kraken. The protection during drunken crying episodes and the conversations into the late night. The drunken mediation of couple spats. The teasing of crustaceans. The moments in that apartment that will always be remembered no matter how much alcohol is consumed.
The home that will always be in my heart.
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