So, for some unknown reason I haven't completely given up talking to people on POF. I mean, it's few and far between. I don't respond, but like once a week at best. Though there were some that I text every now and then. I still don't meet many people at all. Mostly because the idea still terrifies me. Mostly because meeting people from the internet always seems iffy to me and isn't something to take lightly.
There was one guy who became super intense and clingy that totally scared me off and that I never met up with and have pretty much no intention of meeting up with. A few other random males that I chatted up now and then.
Fish three, whom I met the other day, was kind of clingy. Texting me quite a bit, unlike most males, though it was a little more than I'd expected. We never really went on a date really, just had a couple encounters. We met up at a local movie/book/game store in town and just kind of wandered talking.
My favorite part was all the random interjections from strangers. One of us would make a comment on something and a stranger would overhear and say something about it, "Duuude! Best movie ever! -Ferngully". Fish three responded with, "I don't remember it, I think I've seen it". I was just like, "Buuuut, it's a classic! Who could forget the batty rap!?" And a random male's injection, "Batty rap is awesome!"
And the best interjection of the night was when I spotted a copy of the Goonies, "The Goonies!" and a random guy responded with, "Hell yeah, Goonies!" and proceeded to try and walk by Fish three and myself. So, I moved to try to get out of the way only to almost trip over fish three, and the random stranger responded with, "Hey, you're still alive!". To which I prepared to respond with something witty thinking he was making fun of my almost very-ungraceful-fall. Only to discover it was actually a male from my past. To which I yelled oh my god and hugged him as if I hadn't seen him in years, which I hadn't. And I introduced fish three and male from my past to be polite and then proceeded to slightly leave fish three out of the conversation as we were catching up. A bit rude, and I did apologize to fish three - but I didn't want to be rude to my old friend.
Fish three and I looked through music to which every place he stopped a boy band cropped up around him - very laugh inducing. We ended up walking around downtown because it was late and nothing was really available to do so we talked a bit. Then went on a drive and sang along to my random DJ-ing. Then I took him home.
Overall he was an okay guy. Nothing against him, but I have to admit Fish Two is still on my mind. I can't really help it. Which may or may not have contributed to the lack of chemistry between Fish Three and myself. I have no idea.
I ended up seeing Fish three again the next night and just hung out while he cleaned. Then watched him and a friend play guitar hero. And by that point I was passing out.
Today he mentions wanting to hang out, that he wants to ask me something in person, and then it got late. And he says he wants his ex back. I'm not sure if it was a line, if I just am horrible at keeping guys interested, or what... but it was kind of surprising considering he had been a stage five clinger for the week or two since we'd been texting. I just don't know - to be fair though... it made my life easier because I was trying to figure out how I could avoid him moving so fast. Plus, I'm horrible at telling people how I feel, especially if it's that I don't have feelings back for someone. In some ways it pretty much saved me from being the bad guy which I have to admit was a huge relief.
But on the other hand it just makes me question what in the world is wrong with me. How can I fail with so many men? Is it me? I have no idea what I'm doing wrong - or maybe I'm not doing anything wrong and it's the Cosmos' way of telling me I'm being stupid and need to chill the eff out and stop bothering and let things happen.
In a perfect world - I would be with Fish Two right now and wouldn't be questioning where I stand. But if I'm questioning things it probably means he's not interested. So it goes. It just can get pretty old, you know? It'd be nice if for once, just once, someone I have feelings for didn't dick with me and was just straight forward. Preferably had some semblance of feelings back. What the hell do I know?
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