Maybe it's the fact that I know I'm close to having ties be broken but I'm definitely missing people a lot lately. I don't like having to say goodbye to people. I never have - even as a kid. The fondness of losing ties just doesn't exist for me on a realistic level.
I miss my old coworkers because some of them were amazing. And now it feels like they're just strangers. And so much time has passed that it feels silly to even bother saying hello at this point. I haven't talked to a lot of them for two years. That's a weird thought to think about. And I haven't even left yet...
I can't imagine what it'll be like after I've left. Will all my ties from college dwindle down to nothing? God knows I'm awful at keeping in touch. I feel silly sending random text messages to people - I rarely post things on people's walls just because. I'm just not that kind of person. The way I see it if they wanted to talk to me, they would. They don't make any interaction with me ergo they don't want to hear from me.
It might be pretty callous logic - but to me it's just fact. Even if it isn't necessarily true. And I can't be completely awful at keeping in touch. I still have Bianca, Casanova, Tank, the Ex's friends, and others from across the states that I speak with. I don't know it always just seems like I'm bothering people, which is just the mind set I have.
I'm no good with the whole keeping stimulating conversation going. I fizzle in text - I flourish in person. I don't know. It probably is mostly my fault that goodbyes turn permanent often...
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