+ What If... +

Day 11: Something you always end up thinking 'what if...' about.

I typically do a lot of wondering about what would have happened if the males I dated ever actually chose me instead of disappearing for no reason. I know it's stupid to question or wonder what life would have been like since they clearly didn't want that, but it's hard not to think about sometimes.

I always wonder what my life would be like if I was in a relationship with one of the men I've dated. Would I be living with him? Engaged? Married? Would I have dogs? A house? An apartment? Would I have settled for a different job that pays more to make rent? Would I even be living here still? What would my life be? Would I be happy?

I also wonder about what kind of teacher I'd be if I ever was the person a school district would hire. I've had a few interviews, but they have never gone anywhere. I often wonder what things would be like in that scenario. I imagine life would be busier (Lots of lesson planning, grading, meetings, chaperoning). However, it would also be rather likely I would have my own apartment or house as I'd be getting paid 4 times what I get now. I imagine having my own place would be really fantastic. I'd have a dog and a house maybe...