You know it's time for a break for a few days from a dating website when you find yourself being compared to the goddess Aphrodite by a male prospect. Seriously? Do men really think we will buy/fall for that? It's so obviously a line and a terribly cheesy one at that. All I could think while reading that was -- gag me with a spoon.
He started out by saying he couldn't decide if he should send me a message because I was striking with the visage of the goddess Aphrodite. However he would always regret not giving it a try.
What ended up making it worse? Another guy in my inbox totally tried that line, too. Keep in mind, as an English Major, I fixed it up and made it sound more poetic. They weren't that good. The embodiment of Aphrodite was all their phrase, however. I just have to wonder if women really respond to that nonsense?
Maybe it's just that I would be so much better at the romantic language than these guys. I could woo a woman like nobody's business! If I were a more evil sort of person I'd prove it with a fake dating handle. However, I'm really not that interested in proving that. Seriously, men, take some literature courses (British Literature - check out the great Lord Byron who is possibly the king at wooing women).
I should teach a course on Wooing Classy Women 101. It would be a romantic poetry course exploring all the greats that would make a woman melt at the hand of any man.
Lesson 1: Never compare a woman to Aphrodite. It's outdated, obvious, and shows zero creativity.
Lesson 2: Never steal the words of a truly great poet - or if you must, give fair credit. Don't lie and say you wrote it. No woman will believe you.
Lesson 3: Don't overtly lie - or keep it too broad. Pick an aspect of the woman you find truly beautiful and use that one aspect to compliment them. E.G. Eyes. "She walks in beauty, like the night/ Of cloudless climes and starry skies;/ And all that's best of dark and bright/ Meet in her aspect and her eyes:/ Thus mellow'd to that tender light" (Lord Byron).
See? Already I'd win at wooing a lady.
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