+ Every Family Has One +

In all family situations I am considered a black sheep. I would like to point out that in theory I shouldn't be. I honestly can find no discernible reason, other than my age, that I should be considered the black sheep. The biggest problem with my age is that most of my cousins are 9+ years older than I am and the other cousins I have are 9+ years younger than me. I am in the special awkward age gap that no one else can reach. As a result I spent way too much time with adults. I've been conversing with, presenting myself to, and speaking as an adult since I was about 12. As a result I'm pretty serious, mature, and appear older in most social situations, especially around my family. That's probably one of the reasons I am always mistaken as the older sister between Ajax and myself.

I'm not sure if I'll ever be considered anything other than a black sheep. Have I mentioned that on my father's side I was the first grandchild to graduate from college? I was working toward that goal since the age of 13. I always assumed Ajax would beat me out of it, though. I want to have a consistent career and complete my too many goals. I'm not sure what aspirations, if any, most of my other cousins have...particularly on my mother's side. 

Anyway, being the awkward black sheep of the family it would only make sense that the family try to banish me to the back so that they could pretend I wasn't present at my cousin's wedding reception. I mean it would make total sense that they shove me with people I didn't know, away from all of my family I was there to visit. I admit, inside I was livid. I thought it was stupid that I had to be the one shoved away. I couldn't understand why they couldn't find a single family member of the (100+ members) for me to sit by that I knew. Especially knowing I came with my family and that I was friends/sista from anotha mista (and same mister) as three of the groomsmen. My second brother was the groom! And they couldn't pick at least one person I knew for me to be by? Am I that much of a loser/failure? In any case after my one statement of, "This is totally ridiculous" I left it at that and graciously went to the table of shame as I was placed at. 

The problem is no one could predict the attitudes that would gain from The Dad and my uncle, Doctor Death (I'll explain about Doctor Death in a moment). The thing is...I'm kind of the adored lady of the family. At least with the extended family. I am the niece with the good head on my shoulders, witty, calm, brave, and endlessly intelligent. I have goals and I am used often as a positive example to all the other younger cousins (1st, 2nd, 3rd cousins - it doesn't matter). Doc Death was so not happy - partially because The Dad knows how to read me better than most. He could probably tell I was still so not thrilled about being put by myself. And partially Doc Death was not happy because The Dad said I wasn't. He happens to be fond of me and wants me happy. Oops. 

So out of no where while I'm trying to be mature and just grin and bear the suckiness of being placed away from my extended family it's been almost a decade since last I saw, Doctor Death comes swooping in to attempt to save his damsel niece. He tells those at the table that sorry he is claiming his niece for his table and they will have to do without me. However, then there was no room for him which was totally not okay with me. Other people at our table got huffy that he was giving up his seat and then started getting ugly to me snapping why can't you just eat dinner over there? It's just for dinner what the hell is my problem? As if I asked for any of that? After a moment or two of rude comments to me I just shook my head and waltzed on out of there. 

At that point I was drunk and upset. I ran into Mrs. Death (aka my gorgeous aunt) and wandered off into the bathroom where in my drunken state I got a little more emotional than I normally would have. I just wanted to be left alone. What was I s'posed to do? Where to go? I didn't ask for all that drama. Stupid family. Stupid weddings and chaos. 

It was decided, while I was in the bathroom with Mrs. Death, that I would go back to the table that I was assigned to. She would play interference with Doctor Death and The Dad. Which worked all right. I went to the table I was supposed to be at, except naturally, someone else jacked my seat. I literally had nowhere to go at that point - rad. 

I did what any sane person sick of family drama would do - head straight for the bar to get another Tom Collins or Whiskey Sour. Oh yes. Best idea ever. Especially considering that is where cornering number two happened and more people got in my face about how selfish and stupid I am. Where I once more peaced out and ended up drunk dialing Alyss, Bianca, Obi-Wan, Hamlet, and finally Dercetus. 

It's funny how times like those you figure out who is willing to be there for you when you kind of need it. I didn't think in a million years it would have been Dercetus that would be the one who would answer no matter what. I mean he was at work and he still had the kindness to be there for me. I appreciated that - even in my drunken state. You know when you're crazy upset and you know it's irrational, but because you've been drinking it all seems totally justified? And you feel insane, but then you hear a friendly voice and things seem better so you just have to cry because you feel like you're not alone and that someone in the world gets you? Yeah, that moment happened on the phone last night. I heard his voice and was so grateful someone answered I just started crying. I'm cool like that. 

I probably wouldn't have been so emotional and teary had I not gotten pretty acquainted with my new friend, Mr. Tom Collins. Drinking at family affairs might not be the best idea, but sometimes to deal with your insane family you can't be sober. 

Anyway, after everyone stopped yelling at me I ended up at the Groomsmen Table as they had an empty seat and I had no where to go. Ajax and his friends graciously agreed to let me join them. I got an upgrade anyway. I later found out it was someone's brilliant idea to put me at a table with old men that were single to try to hook me up...the problem they forgot about is I'm a family member. Meaning I'm not going to hook up with my cousins - I don't care if they are third cousins or not; that is still gross just thinking about. 

I want to admit I think it's lame that Hamlet blew me off after I'd answered his text questioning why I called and said that I called because I needed a friend as things were really sucky. He just never responded. He doesn't respond to anything anymore. I stopped trying like a month ago because he wouldn't respond. I have to admit I was a bit hurt, though. I thought we were supposed to be friends and instead I feel like we're nothing anymore. I hate losing people that I end up caring about. It sucks quite a bit. I guess it was bound to happen. I should have known better than to assume things might work out favorably. Really all I want to feel like we're still friends the way we used to be, but I feel like instead we went backwards. 

After all the stupid family drama the wedding ended up pretty good.

OH! About Doctor Death - I'm giving my uncle that name because he definitely has the attitude of a mad scientist and supervillain. He's one of The Dad's brothers, and he is probably the most hilarious man ever. I adore Doc Death.