The problem with Ajax and myself is that we have a syndrome we have termed radiation emitted to lost puppies. What this means is that Ajax and I have a way of sending some kind of radition wave that makes all the lost puppies go wild and follow us everywhere we go.
Lost Puppies (n/adj/v): A male or female who is socially outcasted often due to social awkwardness. People who are just not accepted into the general flock of the world/humanity. People who others will not even tolerate in their presence.
n.: A person that is socially outcast.
adj.: Bob is a total lost puppy.
v.: Dude, why are you lost puppying me!?
What does this mean for Ajax and myself? Well, it means that people somehow know that we're both incapable of completely rejecting people regardless of how weird, socially unaccepted/awkward, or completely annoying they happen to be. We just don't have it in us to avoid them at all costs like many of the common flock of humanity do. As a result we have a following of awkward, annoying, and sometimes misunderstood followers/friends.
The only problem with this is that sometimes we really don't want that kind of attention. Personally it's starting to get really old for me right about now. Because for some ungodly reason some of these guys assume that because I am kind and civil to them that I am romantically interested in them - this is very rarely the case. Mostly I feel bad and assume they just want someone to talk to and I happen to be good at talking. So usually it's not a problem. The only time it's really an inconvenience is when they say certain things to me.
Example: Telling me in great detail exactly what they dreamed of doing to me... Let it be noted here and now, forever more that I am not into S&M and Bondage. This particular person was. This was not the best way to allow me to continue to speak to this guy. Especially because I was working and he would not go away - and as a customer I was not allowed to be rude to him.
Things like that make me realize how this particular trait that Ajax and I share is not always a good one. I don't know how he feels about it, but I am starting to lose my patience. I am often tempted to just be a jerk. Sadly my conscious likes to remind me that is not okay if I want to be a decent human.
I don't know. I don't mind some of my lost puppies. Honestly some of them have turned out to be amazing people and some of the best friends I could ask for. They are a little awkward. They say things that are somewhat questionable. And maybe, just maybe, they would creep me out too if I hadn't gotten to know them before making that judgement. Most of the time these lost puppies are totally misunderstood and some of my other friends refuse to give some of my lost puppies another chance due to their creeper factor. Yet I still want to stand by them... but I don't know how many more lost puppies my life has room for.
Mostly I am really wanting to lean toward hermit-dom so I can focus on school and school alone. Especially on days like today where I just feel like a failure as a student. Which may or may not just be in my head.
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