For as long as I can remember I've been wanting to gain control of my own life. To me that always meant leaving the state I grew up in and finding a new state to call homr. Finding a place that was mine. Creating a home that was cozy and not controlled by everyone else I've lived with forever. Not having to clean up huge messes I didn't make, not having to be yelled at for things I didn't do, etc.
June 15th I made it to the new state I'll be calling home. Texas. Lone Star Republic. South. Hot. Humid. Hellfire. Scorpions. More cockroaches than I ever imagined possible. The state I've spent my whole life swearing I'd never live and hated for bringing me nothing but third degree sunburns and scoldings from family members.
And yet... here I am. Funny how life works, isn't it? If only I knew the man I'd choose was a die-hard Texan. I maybe wouldn't have been so ruthless towards this state, regardless I'm here now.
I've moved in with the sweetest and most loving man I've ever known. He has the most infectious laugh and smile that makes me melt every time. He's silly and funny. He's smart. He's stubborn and impossible. He's appreciative. He's charming. He's the most handsome man I've ever seen up close. He always has his arms around me, kisses me, or just cuddles up against me. He's sarcastic and sassy. He's my perfect match in so many ways including in ways I never believed possible. We aren't perfect and sometimes we get exasperated with each other, but we always get through it.
I don't have much experience with Texas yet. I haven't fully claimed it as my own. I've been weary about talking about this move because I haven't had all good days here. I was afraid any post I made would just be a rant against the state. The roads are different (seriously feeder roads???), intersections with weird things going on, and just the not knowing where things are so always feeling lost. I also don't know anyone here besides my boyfriend and the couple friends of his I met. Which led to very little social interactions for me.
I was job hunting and applied for 100-something jobs. All with no response back mind you, until something glorious happened. I got two interviews and a job offer with a bank. I've always wondered about bank work. It seemed different, social, and new. I'm so excited! I know it's not teaching, but since my home state wouldn't hire me and no other teaching jobs will give me a chance, I had to do something. Did I mention I'll make more money at this job than I've made my entire adult life?! Though that's not hard to do. Schools don't pay Paras anything. Literally. $11,000 a year? That's not a living wage and more proof how little school districts value their students and staff. That being said my students and coworkers valued me. Those are the reasons we stay at horrible paying jobs. We love our students and our coworkers become family. I'll miss them all so much. It feels like a part of me is missing knowing I won't see my students and coworkers this September.
I wasn't prepared to miss things like I do. I miss the Pacific North West like nobody's business! The rivers and mountains. The cooler weather. The lack of humidity and cockroaches. My family and Anubis. My friends.
But! I do get to live my life with the man of my dreams. Which I never thought would happen to me. I didn't think I would ever find someone who fit me like this. I honestly thought I'd be single forever.
I get a new start. A new state. A new job I start this week. A new chance at making new friends. I get a job I can afford to live, pay my bills and rent, and maybe even save a little money. Is this the "American Dream"?